“Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring: ‘How to Build a Boat.’” - Steven Wright.

I wake up in the morning and say, ‘I don’t know, should I have a popsicle or a donut?’ You know, who knows?” - Oscar Nunez

Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.” - Groucho Marx

“Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend.

Then by all means follow that path.” - Ellen DeGeneres

Unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with ’em later.' - Mitch Hedberg “I'm sick of following my dreams, man.That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.” - Jack Handey “Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.

“Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.” - Dorothy Parker.“You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.” - Joan Rivers.Take yourself a little less seriously with these funny quotes about life. When life give you lemons… you know the rest. Sit back, relax, and bring a bit of comedy into your life with these 111 lines of reflection, humor, and lived experience. This collection of fun and funny quotes will hopefully bring a smile to your face, and can be used for a variety of crafts, like cards, posters, and signs, or for social media captions and graphics. 17 motivating quotes for your first day at a new job it s normal to be apprehensive and nervous for your first day to first few weeks at a new job.Whether you’re stuck at work, waiting for your train, or just scrolling down your feed, you may need a little extra enjoyment to make your day feel brighter. The people who are at the top of their craft and making the world go around once have to start from scratch.ĭiscover and share first day on the job quotes. This page is a beautiful mix of inspirational first day of joub quotes. The good news is you re not the only one who s ever felt like a wreck on day one.Įxplore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. This first day at job quotes will calm your nervousness and boost your confidence. Quotes from people who and wiser than you can often give you the shot in the arm you need. The first day at a new job or the first day back at work after a long and much needed vacation can be both nerve wracking and exciting. To reach the top you have to start from the bottom. These new relationships and new experiences will enrich your life. No matter where you are in your career chances are you re in need of a little motivation to get to the next step to go for the job you ll actually love waking up for to ask for that promotion to figure out what you should do with your life or to just push through a rough day. Now you re facing the first day of work and your stomach is doing jumping jacks. These wise words will motivate and inspire you. You ll meet new colleagues new bosses and maybe anew car.įirst day work quotes sayings. I got that job on my final day of drama school so it was a nice bridge into the professional world. Want some quick assurances before you start your new job. You ll find heartfelt wishes and funny messages. While you may be excited about the opportunity the colleagues and coworkers that you will be working with and the office space itself you may also feel some nerves.

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First day job quotes funny